At work some people are kindly asking how I’m feeling. I’m still nauseated. I’m not struggling with how to answer but I am struggling with my emotions when they ask. Don’t get me wrong – I’ve not been crying. Quite the contrary, I felt nothing when one of the girls asked after me. I coyly said that my symptoms were caused by tablets and I’m going back to the doctor for it. When she asked if it was another gynaecological problem and I had to say no. She laughed and said that “Foxy, you’re a wreck!” I laughed but felt nothing. I told her one of these days one of my legs would fall off. She said “And you’d smile about it too.” I smiled but felt nothing. I could have done with being able to cry or be picked up by these comments (and I’d like to say how lovely everyone is that I work with) but I’ve felt nothing.
I think what I’ll do is stop taking the anti-depressants. I have a follow-up with the GP on Monday and will ask for something other than drugs. Maybe St John’s Wort will be a better choice for me? Maybe I could do with some counselling? I’ll speak to the GP about it all and hopefully I’ll start to feel better in the new year.