Finally there have been some developments with my step-kids: Maia got in touch via Facebook.
I’m delighted but at the same time I’m trying not to get too excited – I’m trying not to push her away by being too forward. At the moment I’m experiencing so many emotions, I don’t know what to think or feel first. I want to shout from the mountaintops! I am excited that she and Helios are in touch again. I’m excited to have informally met another member of my family (and I count all Helios’ family as family because I don’t have “blood family” on this side of the Atlantic!). I’m concerned that she’ll like me. I wonder what she and her brother have been getting up to all this time. I hope she’s not into drugs. I hope she likes school. In short, most of my waking life will now taken up by wondering, worrying and feeling excited.
Maia is 16. I’m remembering what I was like at that age: how I behaved badly as all teenagers tend to. I wasn’t really emotionally mature enough to take some of the decisions I was making but I turned out OK.
I wonder what they like, where they go, what they do, what they want to do with their lives…
She seems a real sweetheart. It’s nice to get chatting to someone and immediately find things in common – despite our vast age difference! With Facebook Chat she carries on two conversations at once – with me and Helios. Sometimes Helios and I will talk about what she’s saying (if it’s reference to photos she’s posted for example) and then go back to her. I can’t wait to meet her in person.
It’s going well so far that Helios asked me last night if I thought he should get in touch with Apollo. (Since Apollo is listed in Maia’s friends, it will take no time at all searching for him.) I said yes. What does he have to lose? If Apollo isn’t ready for contact he’ll either leave the question pending or claim he doesn’t know Helios. Either way, at least Helios has made the effort and we can wait for Apollo when he’s a little older. But, if he says “yes”, they can start chatting too. Maybe the four of us can see one another next time we’re in Helios’ home town… I can but hope!
Helios said last night, “it’s really odd for me to think that you’re talking with my daughter.” I expect it is. It’s been a long time since he’s talked to her and, since I’ve never done so, he’s still in shock. I honestly think that he wasn’t expecting either of his kids to get in touch again – ever. I’m glad to see that I was right. I don’t exactly know what her motivation was for getting in touch but I’m so glad she did – if only to prove me right! Ha ha!
I realise that it’s going to be a long process, getting to know them. I’m keen to prevent any misunderstandings. I’m hoping that their curiosity will win out over any minor disagreements. I’m hoping what they really want is a relationship with their father, and that they will be prepared to work as hard as I am to make it work. It’s a first step, what we’re doing now, and it’s a very good thing.
Foxy, the Step-Mom