What the doc said…

There are a number of reasons I DETEST going to the doctor here.  One of them is the mad, frantic dash just to get a car parking space.  I got to the hospital at 2:20 p.m. and took nearly 20 minutes to get a space.  In fact, the only reason I got a space was because I managed to spot a car park manager (in one of those yellow jackets) and said “I have a procedure at 3:00, any chance of finding me a space??

So I got in OK and then I waited and waited.  The paperwork said that the whole thing should take 10 minutes but I was there for nearly an hour because the two gals in front of me were WHIMPS!  I was 25 minutes late getting into the room… AND I’d organised a contact lens appointment back in my village at 4:20 so I was clock-watching!

The room had the usual chair-of-doom right in the middle – like some medieval torture device with a tray of implements beside.  At least this one had stirrups and the doctor had plenty of room for manoeuvre.  It was uncomfortable.  And WHY do doctors feel the need to talk to you from down there “So you’ve got an accent, where are you from?”  Don’t expect me to talk to you when I’m trying to control my breathing and make sure that discomfort doesn’t give way to pain!!

The procedure itself was uncomfortable.  He was in there and took photos (not of my best side!) and swabbed it down and then washed my cervix with vinegar and water and then he took a biopsy.  That didn’t hurt.  Cauterising the wound really stung!  No amount of heavy breathing helped.  I wanted to kick him in the face.  I think they charge for that kind of treatment though, so I managed to restrain myself.

The good news is that he said it didn’t look like any thing sinister.  The bad news is that the biopsy results will take six weeks to come back.  I won’t know anything for sure until at least after Christmas.  But I’m feeling a lot better about the whole thing now.  I told the doctor that I was going to be walking like John Wayne and he apologised.  I suppose I at least got an apology!

When I got home I told Helios all about it and he said “Didn’t you tell this guy that your husband is a maniac with an axe, didn’t you?”  I said “No, but I’m glad you didn’t come with me because when he started hurting me, you’d have murdered everyone in the room!”  He just smiled and said “Yep.”

This evening I cooked tea (which I really didn’t mind because it’s sitting down that’s uncomfortable) and I’ve got a hot water bottle now.  I’m uncomfortable in certain positions but I’m sure I’ll feel fine by the morning.

Thanks for looking after me tonight Helios!