My mom sent me the below link:
I think that the question it raises is valid: why shouldn’t sex be seen as a natural and healthy part of a loving relationship? Sure, you can save yourself for marriage, but that doesn’t mean that you will have a loving and long-lasting marriage! It sounds to me like women are being sold a line – sex will save your marriage. Think about it. Logically women are being told that if you save yourself for marriage, then you will have a happy, long-lasting relationship. If all depends on saving yourself for this life-long commitment and then all will be sweetness and light as soon as you say “I do”. But, if it’s not then the way to keep a commitment going is to continue having sex because that’s the promise you made, to yourself, to God and to your husband!
Trouble is, after “I do” life goes on, it doesn’t end with happily ever after. The relationship, if you’re extremely lucky, is a loving, honest and happy one from the start and sex only deepens the feelings you have for one another. If you’re unlucky, you end up in a relationship you don’t feel comfortable in and you resent the obligation of sex.
Sex is a natural bodily process that strengthens a good relationship. I believe sex can be representative of how well a relationship can work: you have to be honest but tactful in your communication, feeling free to say “yes” or “no” or “That’s good” or “I prefer that”. You have to have respect for the other person and listen to what’s being said. Finally, you have to be able to laugh during The Act. Sex, like life in general, is far too important to be taken seriously.
Children are not being told how best to respect their other halves. Children are not being told what to look out for in a good relationship – i.e. honesty, respectful communication, laughter, friendship – they are only being told to save themselves for their marriage. This can build up an unrealistic view of what sex can do for a relationship. In reality, sex can make a good relationship even better. Conversely, it can make an OK relationship quite dire indeed.
Finally, I will say that Ramman rarely used the word “sex”. He simply called it the “gastly business”. Sex is NOT icky, disgusting, or demeaning. I think his attitude was influenced by people who have unnatural and unhealthy attitudes toward sex.