Let me introduce myself. I am 37. I live in England but am originally American. This means that it doesn’t matter how I spell things – it will always be wrong! I have a number of issues – listed above – and I have finally lost my patience with my body.
Instead of going on an alcohol and ammunition fuelled rampage, I’ve decided to go on line and have a moan instead.
The websites I have seen say that the first symptoms of Endometriosis are when women appear to have a hard time conceiving but I think that I first had Endometriosis issues when I first started my periods – at the tender age of 12. Back then I would vomit from the pain. I suppose at least back then there was a physical effect that everyone could see even though no one appeared to know that my problem was Endometriosis. Since then I’ve had to learn how to express what pain I have and how strong it is – what drugs work and what else I have to do when the drugs don’t help (hot water bottles, stretching and rolling around in bed in agony).
Poly-Cystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS)
I first learned that I have PCOS back in 2005 but still don’t quite understand how or why it all works. If I’m not mistaken, my ovaries are covered in cysts and this affects my oestrogen levels. This means that I’m plagued by another silent malady. I’d have more sympathy if I were bleeding from the eyes but, of course, since there are no overt symptoms everyone thinks that I’m completely normal and they have no idea why I’m pulling my hair out.
Yet another silent malady that wasn’t diagnosed until 2005. I like to call this pre-diabetes since everything that I have to do to control my insulin levels are similar to the things that someone that someone with diabetes has to do – I take Metformin and I’m on a low carbohydrate, low glycaemic load diet.
All Together Now
It’s not easy. Luckily I’ve got a fantastic husband who is patient and looks after me (even when I don’t want him to). It’s hard to feel attractive and happy when I’m in pain. I don’t feel sexy when I’ve grown hair in places a girl shouldn’t have hair. Again, it’s nice to be in a relationship where I don’t have to worry about trying to be perfect. I am just myself and we’re comfortable together.
I’ve therefore chosen a pen-name that reflects how I feel about myself – sometimes.